Stepping off the edge

Sometimes when too much is pushing you beyond your boundary, when there is too much that you've lost, when you're surrounded by frustration, anger, disappointed, confusion, sadness, emptiness..... You just feel like leaving everything behind and move on, letting yourself fall off the edge and feel the speed, feel the wind, excitement and unknown.

I'm just too tired changing and making things around me just like how I want. I hoped I was God, saving my friend from losing his life, I hoped I was God, getting whatever I want, making people around happy without upsetting myself, I hope I was God, full of inspirations to create things demanded in life, I hope I was God, and I hoped life is just as I want... But sooner or later I realized that I can't change even a damn thing in life. It's what they call destiny, it's what they call arranged. I'm tired, physically, mentally, gasping for air, clearing my mind and look as far as possible to figure out what will be going on next. 

If it's a marathon, I would rather quit, for I know it takes more than what I can endure to reach the endpoint. 

They said there's always a step back from the edge. I know. And now I've no idea whether to smile, to cry or give no expression. All is coming at the same time, and I'm me, I don't have three faces to show all. 

Perhaps it's just another one of the moments where I'm lost in life, where confusion surrounds. I know I must move on, but for the moment I'll be sitting by the edge, until I figure out what to do next. 

Another rest, perhaps longer than what I need. Just need to put myself in other world, as easy as said by her. It's all just dreams, barely dreams 

It just takes a little longer~

Sometimes things just take a little longer to be perfect... just like the diamond...

Heat, pressure and and a long long time makes this stone precious and stronger than any other stones and the precise cuts by workers made it sparkle, in any angle... so bright, so gorgeous.

Life is like trying and error, intense pressure and hard tasks just make us stronger, and the right person like the workers just make it more precious and meaningful, and shine forever.

I might not buy you this stone now, nor I am one of them, but I hope you're just the right person, ready to polish my life, ready to to cut every perfect angle, and shine for the rest of my life

I did it!! =)

hip hip horray!!! I made it... never thought I will!! =)

Two weeks, even days, used to be very long for me, somehow the feeling within me will explode and I'll go out of control... But now, I managed to control my own emotion! I know when to feel bad and when to set myself free and indulge in that very moment without thinking that it would be better in some other ways...

2 weeks, not really productive... spent most of the tiime eating, but most important of all, I made myself happy... drew a few and painted... still a long way to go for my portfolio... hopefully I can manage to finish at least 5 more paintings, 2 more paper cuttings, few more sketches and build at least one model, complete with render using SketchUp and Photoshop, which means I need my PC in my college!!!

Haha... gonna build my own studio in that very small bubble and enjoy the solitude...

Squeezing the best out of the last few days of holidays... Sunday will be for preparation, but tomorrow i'll just go bowling with my buddy, have a nice lunch and come back to continue with my work, then saturday I'll be going to an open house, then rush all the way down to Melaka for dinner with the smart, pretty and gorgeous senior before she leaves for Cambridge... Gonna be rushing back to KL and be sent back into the jungle the next afternoon..

Everything is gonna be alright and I just love my life! I did it!!!

Dawn !!

I love waking early in the morning, going to the veranda and take a deep breathe of the fresh morning air, listening to the busy chirping of the birds and indulge myself in the beautiful colors of the dawn.

I feel fresh, calm and that is all that takes to kick start for a new day. Everything left behind yesterday will be only memory.

"Stop putting yourself in the past and move on!", that's what she told me. All these while I've been putting myself in the past, even if I'm already in the future. Thinking back what happened before and wish that those mistakes were never made or wish that those good days will last time today and forever is just a waste of time and energy. for times I'm emotional looking back, but there's nothing else that I can do... So, she's right, we've to move on. Time still runs, earth still rotates and people are continuing with their life, so what for pausing or bringing back ourselves to the past?

My dad told me even the longest night will have its dawn, the coldest winter will have its spring. Hard times in life never last long and good times will come, vice versa.

Hope for a better future, work for a better future and MOVE ON !!!

Movie

Life is like a movie, the only difference with the movie is we don't know when it started and when it will end.

It is spontaneous, and everything we do, either prepared or not, will definitely be part of our life. There's neither undo nor reverse. So play every part of our life the best, live to the fullest and give the best you can. Always pick yourself up when you fall and keep climbing. 

Nobody knows what will be the next script, nobody knows the next destination, nobody knows when will we reach the final destination, and never try to be clever that you know, 'cause only God knows when.

Always give ourself the chance to perform the best, so that when we look back, there will be no regret as we know we've tried our best =)....

Muhibah please!!!

First people torched the church, now people want to burn the Quran, what's up next? World War 3?

Why people have problems with races, religions and colours? Everyone is unique, has his own advantages and weaknesses, so why not everyone come together and spice up the world with something great? Like the spices above, the taste of only one sucks, maybe, but when every of them come together in a dish, it is just simply awesome! 

Lay your ego low, forget bout the past, forgive the mistakes that we all made and why not start with a new chapter? It costs nothing at all! If we're able to open our eyes wide enough to observe, sometimes racial and religion issues are ignited by politicians and irresponsible people as a ploy to deceive the people and achieve their objective, money and power most of the time. There's no problem with the race, there's no problem with the religion, the only problem is the behaviour and attitude of the particular person! You can't simply accuse all Colombians to be drug mafias, all Germans to be Nazis right? 

Whatever you do, think of peace and always prepare to forgive, and soon you'll give yourself a harmony life! Oh ya, and please, don't leave anymore carbon footprint, for God's sake...

The Lady in Pink!!

Nobody ever fascinates me than that Lady...

When everyone is wearing dull and dark colour, she wore pink, and walk across the court

Everything seems to be black and white as if I'm colour blind, except for her...

A pink rose might melt her heart? I hope so, only time will tell.

For whatever might happen tomorrow

I'll never forget the indulgence when my heart stop beating, when my breathe stopped, when my mind went blank, when I forgot about anything else.

Haha...who cares... just leave everything to God, and time will tell the truth. I love you.

Nothing's the same~

Nothing's gonna be the same... just like this beautiful sunset by the beach...

Sometimes I just hold things too tight for the moment, afraid that it will be gone the next second... But most of the time it doesn't work that way. Holding on something doesn't mean appreciating it. Soon I realized that indulging myself in that very moment, do and get the best out of it, so that I'll leave no regret when I look back. At least I know I've tried my best and for whatever result I got, I'll be thankful, 'cause I know that God arrange everything in such a way so that in the end I'll get what I really want and what I really deserve.

Indulge yourself in any moment, 'cause the next second it will be gone forever, and nothing's going to be the same. Memories left behind could be a happy and pleasant one, or a rather depressing one, depending on what we did and how we see things...

Be thankful, and enjoy life!!

The Edge

For times it is just so frustrating, it is just so confusing that we feel like jumping off the edge that we're standing, ignoring the people the problems that we leave behind...

Some said God decide our destiny and our life, but we do make decisions in our own life, choose and fight for what we want. I'd been naive ,ignorant and proud, putting the center of the world on myself and everything is all about me. I chose to be so but soon I realized that it was just pushing me to the edge, and frustration haunts me.

It was yesterday, and today I choose to let my ego lay low and it is not a big deal to lose something but myself. My friend taught me to be thankful, and show gratitude by not taking advantage on anything in life, not even taking little things for granted. And today, I found the smile and tranquility that are long lost within myself. I've pulled myself from the edge

Thank you!!

Everything about her

Everything about her has a story...

From her first polar bear to her first Kippling

There's much more about her behind her smile, her words, and I want to know more and I want to be part of it. 

Everything about her is just near to perfect for me

I plead to you dear God, spare her from any misery, don't grab her smile away, bless her with a happy life, at least for what she deserves now.